Autistic Burnout is a big deal for people with ASD.
But what is it?
To explain what “autistic burnout” is, I first need to explain what “masking” is. For those of you who don’t know, masking is when an autistic person more or less pretends to be like a neurotypical person. This is very straining and strenuous work for autistic people because we are constantly worried about so many things and doing much more mental work than the typical person.
Am I interacting correctly with this person? What is my face doing? Am I reacting well enough? Am I making enough eye contact? What do I do with my arms? What do I do with my legs? Wait — what did they say?
This is the inner monologue of someone who is busy masking during a routine conversation with someone. We get so focused on whether we’re participating in a “socially acceptable” way that we oftentimes don’t even catch what the other person is saying to us. A day of doing this is exhausting, not to mention an entire life of doing it.
This is one of the many things that can lead to autistic burnout.
How to Know You’re Experiencing Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout affects everyone differently (hence the “spectrum” part of the disorder), but here are some hallmarks of burnout:
- loss of skills such as speech and language
- loss of focus, memory, organization, time management, etc.
- needing either more or less sensory input to feel regulated
- unable to self-regulate at all
- meltdowns are more common and easier to trigger
- extreme fatigue
(Note: Like I said before, these are just the hallmarks of autistic burnout, everyone experiences it differently. Only you know your body and your mind and what is and isn’t normal for you.)
These are things you may start to notice yourself, or that someone in your life may notice and bring up to you. If that’s the case, do your best to be gentle with yourself and with them, because you deserve it and because they are more than likely just trying to help.
How to Cope in Times of Burnout
Autistic burnout isn’t something you can snap your fingers and make go away. But, there are some tactics to help you cope with it while it is happening. Try some of the following the next time you are in burnout.
Unmasking
Take some time to take your mask off. You can even do this in public if you feel comfortable enough to. The goal is to eventually unmask all the time, or at least as much as you can. Masking is a way of coping, but not every way of coping is healthy.
Being my authentic self is really important to me, but for some reason, I keep my mask on in public. In short, it has put way more stress on me than if I were to just be who I am around people. I’m challenging myself to drop the mask completely, and I challenge you to do the same. In the long run, it will give us so much more energy, so much less stress, and much less chance of going into autistic burnout in the first place.
Practice Self-Care
This is the big one and the one that helps me the most. Self-care is so important, friends. It is the cornerstone of taking care of yourself. If you can’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to take care of anyone or anything else. That job your work? Forget it. Your family? Not gonna happen — not until you take care of your own needs first. That’s why I have a whole section of my blog dedicated to self-care. I believe in it that much.
You can check out my post called “5 Simple Self-Care Ideas to Get You Started on Your Journey” to help you get started with self-care. In that post, I put together some ideas that I know anyone can do and can start immediately. Give some a try!
Listen to Your Sensory Needs
Listen to your body and what it is trying to tell you. Check-in with yourself and with your sensory needs.
Is your environment too loud? Are your clothes too tight? Are there too many people around? Do you not have enough compression or pressure on your body to feel safe? Do you need to get out your fidget toys? Do you need something to drink? Do you need to be by yourself for a while?
These are all important things to consider, as are many others. Only you know what you need at any given moment, and you have to listen to your body to learn what that thing is. Once you know what you need, implement it. It’s important that you do this so that you will be able to regulate yourself easier.
Spend Time with Your Special Interests
This is a big one! Ask any autistic person about their special interests and they could go on about them for hours and hours. This is because we LOVE these topics and they bring us tremendous energy. When you are experiencing burnout, it’s a good idea to use your special interests as a way to comfort yourself and maybe even set you on the path to breaking out of burnout.
Depending on your special interests, you could do more research, do a new project, or make something in relation to your special interests — the possibilities are endless! Right now, my special interest (it could be more of a hyperfixation but I’m hoping it sticks and turns into a special interest!) is this very blog and blogging in general, so I’ve been writing a lot lately to cure my burnout.
Take Breaks
Make sure that you are taking breaks from the difficult tasks that you are doing. Even if that difficult task is something you love, like a hobby. Working too much on something is a recipe for burnout. It can overstimulate you, whether you think it can or not.
If you’re at work and can’t take as many breaks as you might need, try going into your mind a little bit and meditating some. Meditating doesn’t have to be a big ordeal with crystals and candles — all it is is breathing exercises and practicing mindfulness. Practice breathing in a way that makes you feel better, and then let yourself feel those breaths in your body. It’s very grounding and works wonders.
Ask For Help
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to ask someone else for help. You can’t do everything on your own and you shouldn’t have to. Lean on your support systems — your parents, your siblings, your cousins, your friends, your partner — everyone in your life who loves you. They are here to support and help you.
If you don’t have a big support group, try getting assistance from the government. I know that getting diagnosed and dealing ith all that stuff is very hard, but for some people, getting assistance from the government is life-changing. If you really are drowning and need some help, it’s worth looking into.
How to Help Someone You Love with Autistic Burnout
If you’re reading this blog post and you don’t have autism but have someone in your life who does, first of all, it’s very kind of you to be putting in the effort to educate yourself on how you can help your autistic loved one. Not enough people do that, and we highly appreciate the ones of you who do. Thank you.
Number one, you have to understand that your loved one is going through something that you don’t understand. But, just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean you can’t be understanding. Ask you’re loved one how they’re feeling and what you can do to help them. Their communication skills may have dropped off during this time so be patient with them. Let them be for a while. It’s nothing personal, this is just something they need to do sometimes for their mental health.
Another thing you can do is ask them what they need to feel regulated. Feeling regulated means feeling normal and safe. This could be anything — maybe it’s too hot in the room and they need to get some air. Maybe the sweater their wearing has all of a sudden become too itchy and they need a change of clothes. Or maybe, they just need a hug, because the solid pressure of another person feels good sometimes when nothing else does. Ask what you can do for them and then be prepared to do it.
In Conclusion…
Autistic burnout is something that happens when an autistic person is burned out from being, well, autistic. It’s hard to be autistic in a world meant for neurotypicals. The world just isn’t always made to work with how our brains work. This can lead to experiencing burnout that can last for months.
Luckily, there are ways to cope with it, whether you are the one experiencing autistic burnout or a loved one of someone experiencing burnout. Remember, it may feel like you are alone, but you aren’t. Not in this. Every autistic person on the planet understands what you’re going through, and that’s a soul connection. Remember that, and good luck.
I hope you found something here that is helpful to you, thanks for reading!
— Bee <333